Last known picture of Anne Klocko, Artist
Anne Klocko, aka Anne Klocko
Wanted in numerous states for multiple counts
of whimsy and for mooning the fine arts. Suspect is not
armed, and is usually not too dangerous. Known to have a
weakness for art shows, and for imperial rolls.
The suspect began her notorious art spree in
New York, but fled to California in 1975. From her hideout
in the Bay Area, she eventually built a syndicate pushing satin
mobiles and other whimsical items onto an unsuspecting public.
"These are really cute!" innocent people would say. Unfortunately,
her success didn't go unnoticed by the dons of the gift business.
"Make her an offer she can't refuse," they said through their
Unable to resist a takeover of her gang by
Dakin - one of the kingpins of Organized Toys - Anne could only
watch helplessly as gift stores nationally and internationally
were flooded with her Flying Fantasies (tm) line of hanging mobiles,
and her Squeeky Cheeks (tm) line of soft sculpture dolls.
"These are really cute!" innocent people would say. In the
meantime, all she could do was to continually churn out design
after design for the Dakin mob, toiling in fiber-filled back rooms.
Luckily, royalties bought her an early retirement in the federal
artist protection program.
Unable to accept her new life of anonymity,
though, Anne resurfaced several years later on the West Coast
art scene, in a seemingly innocuous art fair booth. Using
her modus operandi of whimsy, Anne soon began foisting
her new pictures made from vinyl clay onto the same unsuspecting
public. The arbiters of fine art were scandalized.
Fun and art together? Sniff! The very
idea! How could she? Meanwhile, promoters at quality
fine art shows such as the Saratoga Rotary Art Show and the Palo
Alto Festival of Arts continued to invite Anne to exhibit.
"These are really cute!" innocent people would
The suspect was last sighted at an art show
in California, eating an imperial roll. If you encounter
the suspect, don't try to apprehend her. Whimsy is a dangerous